The word “my” is a very strong and important word to each of us: my hobby, my family, my beliefs, my way of running my business, and so on. We have our likes and dislikes for our own personal reasons and have come to those conclusions via our life experiences.
If someone attacks what is ours or insists that what we like or believe in is wrong, we will adamantly defend our position, won’t we? Even if we ultimately realize we may be wrong, it’s difficult to admit to someone if they are being insensitive.
That being said, let’s acknowledge that we can’t get other people to change their thinking by outright telling them what they believe is wrong. Doing so makes them defensive because we’ve insulted their intelligence and hurt their pride. It does not make them friendly or open-minded.
So what is the solution when someone challenges our viewpoint or if we feel the need to challenge theirs? Don’t be contradictory. Instead, be tactful and suggest that what we have thought all along may be incorrect. This will make the atmosphere unchallenging. Ask questions of how they came to their conclusion or belief. Be patient, listen to what is being said, dissect the information, and determine whether or not it could be true and correct. It very well may be.
Even if we still disagree, don’t blurt it out! Subtly mention in a non-judgmental and non-threatening way how and where we acquired our information and let it go. We all react better to gentle persuasion than force so a small well-planted idea can be pondered over later and may turn into a full-blown interest or belief.
Remember this: No one knows everything. If we dispute everything people say, we aren’t allowing our minds to be open and receptive to new ideas.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can as long as you let me know and include this complete blurb with it: 6/5/2008, Virtual Assistant Kimberly McCloskey publishes the newsletter “Productive Pointers” featuring articles on how we all can improve our personal and business efficiency. Get yours at http://kimberlymccloskey.wordpress.com or at kimberly.j.mccloskey @ gmail.com.
